Amadoda amaninzi athambekele ekutsaleni amantombazana ukuba athathele ingqalelo imbonakalo, imbonakalo yangaphandle, kunye neentshukumo ezindala ezingasasebenziyo, kwaye ngoyaba ixabiso lamagama kunye nokukwazi kwabo ukuba intliziyo yelinye iqela, ukuvutha ubukho bakhe. kwaye wandise ukuncamathela kwakhe, ngoko umbuzo ngu Uyenza njani intombi ikuthande uthetha? Inokuphendulwa ngokuqwalasela ukubaluleka kokukhetha igama, kunye nendlela yokuthetha ngokuchanekileyo, kwaye yile nto siza kuchaza ngayo kweli nqaku.
Uyenza njani intombi ikuthande uthetha?
Kukho izinto ezininzi onokuthi ngazo wenze intombazana ikuthande ngendlela othetha ngayo.Asiyonkangeleko yodwa okanye ukuziphatha okungacwangciswanga okwaneleyo ukutsala omnye umntu, kodwa ukukwazi ukuthetha ngendlela endilisekileyo nokusebenzisa iithoni ezifanelekileyo kukwenza ubonakale ngathi ulungile. into enomtsalane kunye nesalathisi sokukhula kobudlelwane kunye nokuncamathela kweqabane:
- Hlala unxibelelana naye rhoqo, kwaye ungagxininisi kuye ubungakanani bokuphepha kwakho okanye ukungakhathali xa uxakeke ngumsebenzi othile, kwaye unike elona xesha likhulu lokumazi ngokusondeleyo, kwaye umamele ngaphezu kokuba ethetha, njengoko. oku kuvelisa uhlobo lwamava phakathi kwakho, kwaye idibanisa iingcamango kunye neenjongo, kunye nokuqonda ngokukhawuleza nangcono.
- Kwakhona kuyimfuneko ukunikela ingqalelo ekukhetheni amagama kunye namabinzana ngobulumko, njengoko ukukhetha amagama afanelekileyo kuthathwa njengento yokutsala elinye iqela, ukuvusa umdla wakhe, kunye nokumenza athandane nawe. zahlukile kwizinto ozilindeleyo.
- Amagama akho akhethwe ngononophelo kufuneka aquke umlinganiselo wenkuthazo kunye nenkuthazo.Amantombazana aneengcamango ezithile malunga nobuzwilakhe bendoda, umnqweno wayo wokwanelisa iminqweno yakhe kuphela, kunye nokuxhaswa.Xa usenza ngokuchaseneyo, ngokumbonisa umdla wakho kwimpumelelo yakhe kwaye ukuphumeza iinjongo zakhe, kunye nokumxhasa ekuphumezeni iphupha lakhe, unokuyiba intliziyo yakhe.
- Sebenzela ukufezekisa unxibelelwano oluhle kunye naye, gxila emehlweni akhe xa utshintshiselana iingxoxo, kwaye uhlale kude nesiqhelo esikhokelela kuhlobo oluthile olusesikweni olugqithisileyo, kwaye oku kukhokelela ekuqokeleleni imiqobo phakathi kwakho.
- Kwakhona kubalulekile ukuba igama lomlingane libe nentsingiselo eqinileyo entliziyweni yakho, kwaye xa uyithetha, njengoko uthetha igama lomlingane ngokuthambileyo namnandi, kwaye umbize ngaye ngethoni ethile, unempembelelo entle entliziyweni yakhe, nto leyo emenza aqonde ukubaluleka kwakhe ebomini bakho, kunye nobungakanani bomdla wakho kuye.
- Xa uthetha nomnye umntu, musa ukuzibaxa ekuzincomeni okanye ukubalaselisa umkhamo wamandla akho, ukuhleka, nokuphakama kwakho ngaphezu kwabanye, njengoko oku kusasaza uhlobo lobulolo, ubungqongqo, nokuzingca entliziyweni yakhe. isithuba sokuthatha imbonakalo yakhe ngawe njengoko akubonayo kuwe, hayi ngokwento oyithethayo.
- Sebenzisana naye ngokwendlela yokhetho, hayi indlela yomyalelo kunye nokunyanzeliswa kokuxhomekeka kuye.Xa ubeka idinga phakathi kwakho, kungcono ukhethe phakathi kweendawo ezininzi, njengokuthi: Ucinga ukuba siya ntoni kule ndawo? ? Ngaba unayo enye indawo? Oku kuthumela uhlobo lwenkululeko kunye nokuzola entliziyweni yakhe, njengoko umfazi akafuni ukumphatha njengomlandeli ngamaxesha onke.
Uyenza njani intombazana njengawe usebenzisa ipsychology?
I-Psychology kulo mbandela ixhomekeke kubuchule obuthile, apho umntu unokutsala iqabane lakhe lobomi ngokulula kunye namanyathelo alula, kwaye phakathi kwezi zindlela:
- Ulwimi lomzimba, oluthi ke lona luguqule imiba yalo ibe ziintshukumo, intshukumo, intetho, intetho, nenkangeleko esetyenziswa ngumntu ukutsala ingqalelo yelinye iqela okanye ukuvakalisa ingcamango okanye imvakalelo esengqondweni yakhe. uhlobo oluthile lomnqweno wokwazi ngokusondeleyo.
- Ulwimi lwamehlo, amehlo yifestile emphefumlweni, nomlomo wentliziyo, ngoko ke ezinye zeenkangeleko zelinye iqela zibonise iimvakalelo zakho kwicala lakhe, kunye noko ungathanda ukukuveza. , xa utsalela ingqalelo yalo mntu, kungcono ukuba inkangeleko ethile, kwaye inkangeleko inoncumo oluncinci.
- Ukuthathela ingqalelo ithowuni yelizwi xa uthetha naye, njengoko iithowuni ezithambileyo nezizolileyo zithatha intliziyo nengqondo, zongeza uhlobo lobudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kwakho, kwaye umtyhale asondele kuwe ngokukhawuleza.
- Ukuzonwabisa kunye nobubele, abantu ngokubanzi bavame ukuba mnandi kwaye bahle, kwaye ngokuzenzekelayo bahamba kude nabo bathumela i-negativity kunye noxinzelelo ezintliziyweni zabo, ngoko ke thatha inyathelo lokuqala ukuba ube mnandi kwaye ulungile, njengoko oku kukusondeza kwelinye icala ngokukhawuleza.
- Xa udibana nalo mntu, kwaye umbona phakathi kweqela labahlobo bakhe, mnike ukujonga ngaphandle kwabanye, kwaye ukuba akabaqapheli, omnye wabahlobo bakhe uya kumxelela ukuba umntu ukhangele kuye.
- Mvumele athethe, ungamphazamisi xa ezichaza kwaye evakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe, kwaye umphulaphule ngokukhululekileyo nangengqwalasela enkulu.
- Musa ukuba neemvakalelo kwindlela osabela ngayo.Ukuba intombazana ibeka ingcamango okanye isindululo osibona singakufanelanga, musa ukuyiqalisa ngokuyigatya okanye ngokucaphuka. Kunoko, yenze ikucacisele isizathu sokukhetha le ngcamango ngaphezu kwabanye; kwaye ingaba inazo na izicelo emhlabeni, kwaye iphumelele na.
- Ukuzikhwebula kwindima yokuba ngumlindi nokunyanzeliswa kobunyani, njengokuba ibhinqa lamkela kuphela oko liqinisekileyo ngako kwaye likubona kufanelekile ngokwenene.” Ngoko ke, ukuba awukwazi ukumqinisekisa ngento ethile, musa ukuyinyanzelisa kuye, kwaye zama ukuyiqonda ingongoma yakhe. jonga ngaphandle kokuwubaxa umcimbi.
- Ukubonelela ngoncedo xa kuyimfuneko, kuyimfuneko ukuba elinye iqela lizive ubukho bakho ngokusisigxina ebomini bakhe, kwaye usondele kuye nanini na xa ebonisa imfuno yakhe.
Indlela yokwenza intombazana ikuthande ngokuncokola?
- Phulaphula kakuhle, uze uvumele omnye umntu ukuba aveze iimvakalelo zakhe ngaphandle kokumphazamisa ebudeni bencoko.
- Ukujongana nentombazana ngokungafihlisiyo kunye nokunyaniseka, ukutyhila iimvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho, ubabuza, ukwabelana naye ezinye zeenjongo asebenzayo ukuze azifezekise, kwaye umxelele ukuba uyinxalenye yalo.
- Inkxaso esisigxina yenye yezinto ezisisiseko zobudlelwane obunempilo, apho incoko yakho naye kufuneka igxile kumazwi enkxaso nenkuthazo.Enye yeendlela zokutsala umntu obhinqileyo kukubona kuwe ukuba iqhawe elimxhasayo xa esoyisakala, liyamphakamisa. xa ithe yawa, woyinceda xa ethe yawa.
- Yiba nohlobo oluhle xa uthetha naye, kuba ukungakhathali kuvelisa inzondo, ngelixa sifumanisa ukuba i-positivity ivelisa uhlobo lobuhlobo kunye nokusondelelana, njengoko kungekho mntu ufuna ukuncamathela kumntu ongalunganga ontetho yakhe ikhawulelwe kwiingxaki, amaxhala kunye nosizi zonke. ixesha.
- Ukunyamekela isimbo apho kukho uhlobo lobubele kunye nokuthantamisa. Eyona nto itsala intliziyo yowesifazane yimvakalelo yakhe eqhubekayo yokufudumala kunye nenkathalo kwicala lelinye iqela. Ingqwalasela egqithisileyo kunye nengqalelo kwiinkcukacha eziphathelele kuye yenza uyakuthanda wena.
- Ukubuza kunye nokuqinisekisa rhoqo, umbuzo ulelinye icala lomdla, kwaye ukuba umntu uva ubukho bomntu okhathalayo ngaye, akayi kuthandabuza ukusondela kuye kwaye anamathele kuye.
- Ukukhetha imixholo ebangel’ umdla kwibhinqa, lithetha ngezinto elizithandayo, liphulaphule ngenyameko, yaye liyancuma xa lincokola.
- Ububele kunye nokudumisa, yiba nobubele kunye nobuhlobo kwintombazana, njengokuncoma inkangeleko yakhe okanye ukucheba iinwele kunye nokuxhasa izigqibo zayo.
Uyenza njani intombi ikuthande ngokuthetha kuFacebook okanye kuWhatsApp?
Amajelo osasazo oluntu afana noFacebook kunye noWhatsApp ziindlela zonxibelelwano ezingathanga ngqo, ezisebenzela ukuvala imigama phakathi kwabantu, nonokuthi ngazo wenze intombazana ikuthande, ngokulandela la manqaku alandelayo:
I-akhawunti yakho ye-Facebook kufuneka ibonise idatha yakho yokwenyani, ngokuphatha igama lakho kunye nedilesi - kungekhona ngokweenkcukacha - kunye nomhla wakho wokuzalwa kunye nesimo somtshato.
Ukuze uFacebook ube luphawu lwezimvo zakho, izinto ozikholelwayo, kunye notyekelo lwakho.Xa uxelela elinye iqela ngendalo yakho, ubomi, kunye nezinto anomdla kuzo, kuyenzeka ukuba abelane nawe ngezi zinto zokuzonwabisa zifanayo nawe, nto leyo inisondeza kuni nobabini. .
Ukuhlala usebenza kunye nokusebenzisana, ngokupapasha kunye nokubhengeza iimeko ezithile kunye neendaba ezinxulumene nenkalo ethile yobomi bakho, kunye nokwabelana ngeefoto zakho ngezihlandlo.
Unako kwakhona ukutsala elinye iqela ngokumtyhala ukuba afezekise unxibelelwano olusebenzayo nawe, ngokunyamekela iinkcukacha kunye nezinto anomdla utyekele, nokuthetha ngazo, njengoko oku kuya kutsala ingqalelo yakhe.
Kude nesitayile sokungxamiseka kunye nemibuzo egqithisileyo kunye nesicelo, yenza ubukho bakho bukhanyise emphefumlweni wakhe.
Bekela ixesha elithile apho uya kube usebenza kuFacebook, njengoko oku kunokumtyhala ekukhupheni lonke ixesha lakhe ngale yure ithile.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba ubukho bakho buqhelekile kwaye buqhelekile, kuyimfuneko ukuba ungafumaneki ngalo lonke ixesha, njengoko oku kunokumenza acinge kwaye azibuze ngezizathu zokungabikho kwakho, okukhokelela ekubeni akubuze kwaye akujonge.
Amanyathelo okwenza intombazana ikuthande ngokuphambeneyo
- Okokuqala: Umfazi akazukwazi ukuqhubeka nawe eluthandweni ukuba unokungazithembi.Ukuzithanda, ukuxabisa nokwamkela yeyona nto iphambili kwibhalansi yobudlelwane kunye nokuncoma elinye iqela kuwe. .
- Ukumamela ngomdla omkhulu, ukwabelana naye ngayo yonke imisebenzi kunye nezinto azithandayo, nokuthetha ngaye rhoqo, njengoko le yenye yezinto ezitsala abafazi, kwaye sisizathu sokusondela kuwe kwaye uthandane. nawe.
- Ukumxhasa ngamaxesha obunzima, ukumnika uncedo namacebiso xa efuna, ukuxabisa iimvakalelo zakhe nokumncoma.
- Ukuhlonipha ubumfihlo babasetyhini, kunye nokungangeneleli ebomini bakhe ngendlela engamkholisiyo, nokungamcinezeli, njengoko ukuphepha isimbo songxamiseko, ukuba bhetyebhetye ekwamkeleni utshintsho, nokuqonda ekulawuleni iimeko zezinye zezinto ezitsala umdla wabasetyhini.
- Unokuthi, ngamaxesha athile, angabikho ixesha elide, ukuze alinganise ubungakanani bothando lwakhe nolangazelelo lwakhe.
- Ukudala amathuba onxibelelwano olubonakalayo, njengoko into etsala ingqalelo yabasetyhini kukubona umntu omjonga ngenyameko kwaye uyamomotheka xa embona.
- Ukungazenzi inkohliso ubuntu obungayibonakalisiyo inyaniso yakho, ukuba ubonakale ngokuzenzekela xa uthetha naye, nokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakho ngaphandle kokungakhathali okanye ukugqithisa.
- Ukuyixhasa, kunye ne-catalyst yeenjongo kunye neminqweno yayo, njengoko umntu ngokwemvelo etyekele kwabo bamkhathaleleyo kwaye bezinikele kubomi kunye neenjongo zakhe.
- Ukubonisa iqondo lomdla, njengoko umdla ungowona mba uphambili ekusekweni nasekwakheni ubudlelwane.Ukuba umntu uyaqaphela ubukho bomntu omkhathaleleyo, uya ngokuzenzekelayo aqalise umdla wakhe ngokunjalo.
Imibuzo ebangela ukuba intombazana iphambane ekukuthandeni
Kukho imibuzo ethandwa ngamantombazana ngokubanzi, kwaye afumana uyolo olukhulu, kuba lo mbuzo uthwala umdla welinye iqela lokwazi ngakumbi ngaye, umvumela ukuba athethe ngaphandle kokumphazamisa, kwaye akonwabele ukumamela. kuye, naphakathi kwale mibuzo:
Zeziphi izakhono zakho eziyimfihlo: Amantombazana ayakuthanda ukuthetha ngeziqu zawo kwaye lo mbuzo uvula indlela yokuthetha malunga neziqu zabo kunye nokuqhayisa ngezakhono abazenzayo.
Ngowuphi umdlalo wobuntwana owuthandayo: Amantombazana ayawuthanda lo mbuzo, kuba wongeza ulonwabo kunye noburharha kwincoko, ukongeza ekubuyiseleni iinkumbulo ezintle zobuntwana.
Sesiphi esona sipho sihle emntwini: Ngumbuzo onika umdla, kwaye lithuba lokuba indoda yazi ukuba ibakhathalele kangakanani abanye.
Zeziphi iimeko ezibangela iintloni oye wadibana nazo kwisikolo samabanga aphantsi: Lo mbuzo unika umlinganiswa wokuhleka kunye nolonwabo kwincoko, kwaye uvumela indoda ukuba ifunde ngakumbi ngobume bentombazana kunye neenkumbulo zayo, kodwa ukuba intombazana uziva eneentloni kwaye eneentloni, akufanele anyanzeliswe.
Yeyiphi impumelelo ozingca ngayo ebomini bakho?
Yintoni eye yanempembelelo enkulu ebomini bakho?
Yintoni eyona nto imbi kwaye ingcono ngokuba ngowasetyhini?
Xa ixesha lihamba ngokukhawuleza kuwe kwaye xa lihamba kancinci?
Yeyiphi indawo oyithandayo? Zeziphi ezona zinto zikukhathaza kakhulu?
Ngowuphi umbuzo ongawuthandiyo?
Indlela yokwenza intombazana ikuthande ngokuhlanya ngemiyalezo?
Unokufezekisa oku ngokusebenzisa imiyalelo elula, equka:
- Ukuba nguwe.Akuvumelekanga ukuba uzenze ngathi ungubuntu obungabonisi buntu bakho nongabufanelanga ubuntu bakho, kunoko, kubhetele ukuba ubonakale ngokuzenzekela xa uthetha naye, uze uvakalise iimvakalelo zakho ngobungcathu.
- Unokumbonisa uthando nomdla wakho ngokuzisa uhlobo oluthile lokunyaniseka ekuqhuleni nasekuqhuleni, njengokuthi ubukho bakhe bubaluleke kakhulu kuwe, uze utshintshe umbandela ngequbuliso. wenjenjalo, kodwa wazinza entliziyweni yakhe, ukuze abe nethuba lokuvakalisa iimvakalelo zakhe kuwe.
- Kufuneka umxhase, kwaye ube ngumncedi weenjongo kunye namaphupha akhe.Abafazi, ngokwendalo kunye nokubunjwa kwabo, bathanda abo bababeka kuluhlu lwezinto eziphambili kubo, banakekele ukubaluleka kwamaphupha kunye neenjongo zabo, kwaye bancede. bazifezekise.
- Kukwakho neempawu ekufanele ukuba indoda izonwabele, ezinje: intuition ekhawulezileyo, ukubhetyebhetye, ukusabela, kunye nokukhumbula ulwazi ngokuzenzekelayo.Umntu ophawulwa ngengqondo nobukrelekrele uyakwazi ukuloyisa elinye iqela, kuba uyawuqonda umngaphakathi weqela lakhe. amazwi, kwaye uziva iimvakalelo zakhe akufumanisa kunzima ukuzichaza, kwaye ukwanandipha ukuba bhetyebhetye.Ekwamkeleni utshintsho, ukukwazi ukujamelana nokuguquka kweemvakalelo, nokusasaza uhlobo oluthile lolonwabo xa iimeko zisiba qatha kunye neentlekele ezilandelelanayo.
- Kubalulekile ukuba imiyalezo yakho iqulathe uhlobo lokucolwa, kwaye umphathe njengentombi yakho encinci eyoyikayo ihlabathi, njengoko oku kuyamqinisekisa kwaye kwandisa ukunamathela kwakhe kuwe kunye nekhwele lakhe phezu kwakho.
- Umntu obhinqileyo uyamthanda umntu odiza ezinye zeemfihlo zakhe kuye, njengoko oku kudala entliziyweni yakhe uhlobo lokuzithemba kunye nomdla weqabane kulo kunabanye.Indoda ayihambisi ngolwazi lwayo ngaphandle kwabo ibathandayo, kwaye kunjalo abafazi. Xa umntu esabelana ngemfihlo yakho, oku kubonisa ukuzithemba kwakho okukhulu, kunye nothando lwakho ngaye kunye nokukhetha kwakho kuye ngaphezu kwabanye.
- Ububele nendumiso, yiba nobubele nobuhlobo kwelinye iqela, mdumise kwizigqibo zakhe, mxhase ukuze aphumeze iinjongo zakhe, kwaye ube khona xa efuna wena.
