Ndingenza njan umntu azondicaphukela?

Ngokuqhelekileyo, umntu utyekele ekuzuzeni uthando nokwamkelwa kwabanye, kodwa kwezinye iimeko, abanye bazama ukuzenza izinto baze balandele indlela yokuziphatha nezenzo ezibenza babe nenzondo kwamanye amaqela, yaye oku kusenokubangelwa ngumnqweno wokuphelisa ubuhlobo okanye uthando olugqithisileyo olukhokelela umntu ukuba asasaze inzondo entliziyweni Lowo umthanda ngenxa yokumoyika, abaninzi bayazibuza Ndimenza njani umntu andicaphukele? Siphendula oko kweli nqaku ngokubanzi.

Ndimenza njani umntu andicaphukele?

Xa kunjalo, kungcono ukuba uzibuze ukuba kutheni ufuna ukwenza umntu othile akuthiye. Ukuze umenze akuthiye ngokwenene, kufuneka utshintshe indlela oziphatha ngayo kunye naye, kwaye uqale ukuziphatha ngendlela ecaphukisayo kwaye imcaphukise, ngale ndlela:

• Ukwaphula ulindelo lwalo mntu malunga nawe, njengoko kufuneka ubonise izenzo ezithile kunye nokuziphatha okungahambelaniyo nolindelo lwalo mntu kuwe, kwaye ke ukuze iingcinga kunye neenkolelo zakhe zitshintshe, unokuba nombono ofanelekileyo wendalo ubuntu bakho, iimbono zakho, kunye neenjongo zakho, kwaye xa ebona ngokuchaseneyo, imbonakalo yakhe enkulu kunye nolindelo oluchulumancisayo luyancipha, nto leyo elahlekelwa luthando lwakhe kuwe.
• Ukungathobeli kunye nenkani yalo mntu, apho unokugatya zonke iziphakamiso kunye nezigqibo azenzayo ngaphandle kokuphawula okanye ukulungelelaniswa, kwaye uvuse imbandezelo kunye nomsindo wakhe, kwaye umbonise ubungakanani bolawulo lwakho kunye nokulawula phezu kwakhe.
• Bambana naye kwizihloko eziphakamisa ubunzulu, kwaye uzame ngandlela zonke ukubaphumelela, kwaye ugxininise amandla akho kunye nokukwazi ukumodlula ngokulula.
• Ukwenza izinto azithiyileyo okanye ezimcaphukisayo, kwaye engasithetheleli isizathu saloo nto kuye, nokuzingisa ekuzenzeni ngamaxesha athile okanye ngaphandle kwesihlandlo.
• Ukuphinda izenzo okanye izenzo ezifanayo angathandiyo, kunye nokuphawula ukuba ezi ziphatha zikwenza wonwabe kwaye ziyinxalenye yakho.
• Ukungazi, kwakhona kwiindlela zokwenza umntu akuthiye kukungamhoyi kwaye ungahloniphi intetho yakhe de kube sebusuku, kwaye ungawuhoyi umbuzo ngaye.
• Zama ukwenza nzima izinto, ukwandisa iingxaki kunye nokungavumelani, kwaye wenze kube yinto yesiqhelo.

Umenza njani umntu akucaphukele?

Abanye abantu baye bakhangele iindlela zokwenza umntu amthiye, ibe loo nto isenokubangelwa kukuba efuna ukumlibala okanye ukuhlala kude naye okanye ngenxa yokuba engakwazi ukuqhubeka naye kulwalamano olufanayo, nokwenza loo mntu akucaphukele ngokuthantamisayo. :

• Musa ukumnika ingqalelo, musa ukuzinikela kuye, kwaye uhlale kude kumdla wakho kuye, njengoko ingqalelo ivelisa imeko yokusondelana kunye nokuthandana, kodwa ukugxotha nayiphi na imizamo yelinye iqela ukusondela, kuya kumtyhala ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuziqhelanisa neemeko ezintsha, nto leyo ibeka uhlobo lokuzonda kunye nomgama kuye.
• Kuphephe ukumenza azive ebalulekile kuwe, kwaye uzame ukumbonisa ukuba akukhathali ngobukho bakhe okanye ukungabikho kwakhe, njengoko kungekho nanye kwezi zinto ezenza umahluko kuwe, kwaye ezona zinto ziphambili kuwe ngoku zijikeleze iinjongo zakho zekamva kunye neminqweno yakho. .
• Nciphisa amathuba onxibelelwano phakathi kwenu nobabini, kwaye ungamqalisi ngombuzo okanye umqinisekise ngempilo yakhe, njengoko oku kunika uhlobo lomdla kunye nomnqweno wokuqhubeka.Ngokuphathelele ukusuka kuye ngokupheleleyo, kwaye ungabuzi ngaphandle kokuba xa imfuneko ifuna oko, imtyhala ukuba akucaphukele nomnqweno wokukulibala nokukude.
• Ukungazi.Xa ubona lomntu ekwindawo ethile ungamhoyi tu, ngathi awumazi, kwaye awuzange umazi ngaphambili.Lonto iyakumvusa imbandezelo nomsindo, lonto izakumenza angakuhoyi nawe, and with ekuhambeni kwexesha uya kwahluka kulwalamano lwakhe nawe.
• Bonisa intiyo yakho ngaye ngokuthetha ngomlomo nangokumchaza, usenokumxelela, ngenkangeleko ethile, imvakalo-zwi nenkangeleko yobuso, indlela omthiyile ngayo, nokungafuni kwakho ukuhlala naye okanye ukuhlala ecaleni kwakhe.

Ndingenza njani ukuba umntu endizotshata naye andicaphukele andishiye?

Abanye abafazi abangakwaziyo ukuhlalisana nesoka bazama ukwenza uhlobo oluthile lwentiyo kuye entliziyweni yakhe, ukuze amshiye aze aqalise ubomi bakhe ngaphandle kwakhe.

• Umntu oza kutshata naye unombono olindelekileyo kuwe, ngoko ke thatha inyathelo lokumbonisa into eyahlukileyo kwezi zinto zilindelekileyo.
• Kukhethwa ukuba umgama ube ngokuthe ngcembe, usebenzisa indlela yokumangalisa, ukulibaziseka, kunye nokuhamba kunye namanyathelo azinzileyo kunye nelinye iqela njengentshayelelo yomnqweno wakhe wokufuduka kunye nokuphelisa amabhondi alo budlelwane kwiingcambu zawo.
• Ukunciphisa amathuba okuhlangana kunye nokuthetha, musa ukuphazamisa incoko yakho kunye naye okanye ucime ubuhlobo bakho naye ngequbuliso okanye umxelele ukuba awufuni kugqibezela ubudlelwane ngesiquphe, kodwa kufuneka ujongane nalo mbandela ngokuthe ngcembe. , uze uthabathe amanyathelo asebenzisekayo ukuze uphume kulwalamano lwakho naye ngonaphakade.
• Mkhumbuze amaxesha ngamaxesha ngobudlelwane bothando olucalanye, kwaye obu budlelwane baninzi kwaye buxhaphake, kwaye elinye iqela alinasandla ekungakwazini ukubuyisela uthando lweqela lokuqala.
• Ukumtyhilela ukuba uThixo uya kumnceda akhethe iqabane elifanelekileyo alixabisayo nelimfanelayo, yaye oku kukhatshwa luhlobo oluthile lwenkxaso ukuze afumane okona kulungileyo kuye.

Umenza njani umntu akulibale?

Unokuthatha la manyathelo alandelayo ngaphambi kokuba wenze umntu akulibale:

1. Khetha ixesha nendawo efanelekileyo yokuthetha.
2. Ukuxhobisa elinye iqela kwincoko kunye nokuza nezisombululo ezizezona zilungileyo zobume bobu budlelwane.
3. Ukunyaniseka nokuvuleleka, ukuphepha ukuchaphazeleka kunye nokuhlazeka, kunye nokusebenzisa iithoni ezizolileyo, ezilungeleleneyo.
4. Xelela lo mntu ukuba kungakhathaliseki ukuba kwenzekani, baya kuba ngumhlobo osondeleyo.
5. Hlala kude nemiyalezo yelizwi, kwaye unamathele kwimiyalezo yomlomo ngamanye amaxesha.

Ukufumana umphumo oyifunayo:

• Ukuqaphela ubunyani beemvakalelo zakho kuye, ukujongana nawe, uphonononge ubunzulu bomphefumlo ukwazi ubunjani beemvakalelo zakho kunye neengcinga zakho, kwaye wenze ukulinganisa ozibeka endaweni yalo mntu, ukuza nezona zisombululo zilungileyo zokuphelisa ubudlelwane bakho naye ngaphandle kokumbeka kwindawo ehlazisayo okanye ukumenza nayiphi na intlungu Kunzima ukuchacha.
• Qalisa ukumisela imida ekusebenzisaneni naye, nemiqobo ekunxibelelaneni naye. Nciphisa iincoko zakho naye, thetha ngethoni esemthethweni, kwaye umchazele indlela oxakeke ngayo, nokuba unomsebenzi ekufuneka uwugqibe ngaphandle kokulibazisa.
• Qala ngokumcebisa ukuba ufuna ukubaleka, kwaye ukuba ayisebenzi, kufuneka uthethe ngokuphandle kwaye unyaniseke, kwaye uveze elubala iimvakalelo zakho zokwenyani ngakuye.
• Kufuneka ulindele ukuba elinye iqela libonise umsindo kunye noxinzelelo, ngoko ke zola kwaye ube nendalo, kwaye ungawufumani umsindo wakhe ngomsindo ohambelana nawo.
• Yenza umgama phakathi kwakho, kuphephe ukuhlala ufumaneka, chitha ixesha lakho ngomsebenzi othile okanye uzenze ngathi unguye, kwaye ujongane nokusetyenziswa kwegama elithi "hayi" ngokusisigxina.

Ngaba ngokwenene intiyo inokujikwa ibe luthando?

• Abantu abaninzi bayazibuza malunga nokuba kunokwenzeka ukuguqula inzondo ibe luthando, kwaye amava amaninzi kunye nobudlelwane babantu baye babonisa ukuba ubudlelwane obuninzi baqala ngentiyo eyimfama, kwaye baphela ngothando kunye nokuhlalisana, njengoko sifumanisa kubudlelwane obuninzi beemvakalelo, ubukho benzondo phakathi. amaqela amabini, kunye nokuhamba kwexesha, siphawula ubungakanani bokudibanisa Ngamnye kubo kunye nomnye, akukho mathandabuzo ukuba inzondo inokujika ibe luthando, njengokuba umkhenkce uguqulwa ube ngamanzi amnandi.
• Umntu unokufezekisa oku ngokuguqula ukuziphatha kwakhe, ukwazi izizathu ezibangela inzondo kunye nokungalingani okufihliweyo, kunye nokusebenza nzulu ukulungisa, kunye nokujongana neziphene ezimthintela kwabanye, kwaye sidwelisa kule ngongoma ilandelayo ukwenza oko:

1. Yiba nesimo sengqondo esikhuthazayo, kwaye uzikhwebule ngokupheleleyo kwizikhalazo nezinto ezingakhiyo, nakwintetho ecalanye.Ufanele ugxininise kwizinto ezakhayo xa uthetha, yaye ukuphephe ukuthetha ngezinto ezintsonkothileyo zobomi, iingxaki zemihla ngemihla, neemeko ezimbi zabantu.Kutyeshela ngokupheleleyo ukukhankanya iintsilelo neentsilelo zabo. .
2. Zivuleleke kwabanye, thabatha inyathelo lokuqala lokwakha ubudlelwane kwaye udibane nabahlobo ngamaxesha athile, kwaye uzame ukulungisa indlela yokuziphatha elinye iqela eliyibona njengomthombo wokucaphukisa kubo.
3. Ukuncoma nokuncoma, njengokuba umntu othwaliswe intiyo edla ngokutyekela ekunyeliseni nasekuthetheni kakubi, ngoko kuyimfuneko ukuqalisa ukuncoma omnye umntu, ukuncoma iimpawu zakhe ezintle, nokukhankanya iimpawu zakhe ezintle ngalo lonke ixesha uhleli naye okanye engekho kuwe. .
4. Ukukulungela rhoqo ukunceda abanye, ukubanceda xa kuyimfuneko, musa ukulibazisa, zinikela kumsebenzi wokunceda abanye, qhubeka usenza oko kuyingenelo kwabanye, baxhase uze uyithande impumelelo yabo.
5. Ngena nzulu kuwe, kuba ukwahlukana phakathi kwentiyo nothando lunwele, kwaye unokufumana uthando ngaphakathi kwentiyo, njengoko uninzi lwezinto esizithandayo kunye nesizithanda, sinokufumana intiyo yangaphakathi, kwaye ngokuxhaphaza iimvakalelo ezingalunganga kunye nobuzwilakhe kubo. ukwenza okwahlukileyo.
6. Xa uthe wafumana umntu okucaphukelayo kufuneka uzazi izizathu zokuba akucaphukele, ungamqali ngemvakalelo enye, kuba lonto iyenza mandundu ingxaki, ibeke imiqobo phakathi kwakho nabanye ekunzima ukuyisusa okanye ukoyisa.
7. Kubhetele ukuba umntu abe nohlobo oluthile lokwamkelwa nolwaneliseko lokuba akayi kuba ngumbandela womdla kwabanye, yaye asingabo bonke abaya kuvuma ukumthanda nokusondela kuye.Zilumkele, kwaye uqhubeke nobomi bakho ngaphandle kwesizathu. ukuvumela abakuthiyileyo bafike kuwe.

Umenza njani umntu okuthiyileyo akuthande?

Xa ujongene nale ngxaki kufuneka uqale ubuze ukuba umntu uyakucaphukela na kuba enokucalula okanye ufuna ukukucaphukela ngaphandle kwezizathu ezicacileyo, okanye isizathu sisibalelwa kuwe.Sisoloko sidibana nabantu abasifumbethe inzondo, hayi nje kungenxa yokuba siphumelele ebomini bethu, kwaye siphila njengoko sibona kufanelekile, kwaye oku luhlobo lokungafezeki kunye nokunqongophala kwiinkalo zobuntu esimele siziphephe, kwaye singanikeli ingqalelo, kwaye senze umntu oyithiyileyo akuthande. , la manqaku alandelayo kufuneka alandelwe:

• Phinda uqwalasele ubunjani bobudlelwane bakho nalomntu.Ukuba ungumntu nje odlulayo, zama ukumxelela isizathu sokuba akucaphukele.Uze wenze utshintsho oluthile ukuze azuze intliziyo yakhe ngakuwe.
• Musa ukuyiphepha inzondo yakhe, kodwa jongana nayo ubuso ngobuso, kwaye ungakhalazi kakhulu okanye umbeke ityala, njengoko usenokuba sele ubangele inzondo yakhe ngokuziphatha kunye nezenzo zakho, ngoko ke kufuneka uqalise uxolo, kwaye uthembise ukuba awuyi kuphinda le nto. umcimbi kwakhona.
• Yiba nobubele, ube nobuhlobo, kwaye uhlekise, njengoko lo mntu unokukuthiya ngenxa yokungakhathali kwakho okugubungela iincoko zakho, okanye umoya wakho othanda ukuba nomsindo kwaye ubangele iingxaki, ngoko zama ukuncoma kwaye ube nethemba ngakumbi, kwaye uphose iziqhulo. kunye neziqhulo ezihlekisayo zokukhanyisa umoya.
• Yiba kufutshane naye, ukuze xa ekufuna, akufumane ngaphandle kokuthandabuza ecaleni kwakhe, umnike uncedo nenkxaso.
• Yenza ngokwemvelo ngaphandle kokuthatha ubuntu obungakufanelanga.Ungazami ukuzifaka uxinzelelo ngokuthatha uhlobo olutsha ongenakukwazi ukuziqhelanisa nalo.Yiba ngokuzenzekelayo kwaye uqhelekile xa udibana kwaye usebenzisana naye.
• Ukuphathana ngesisa nokupha.Umntu onesisa opha abanye izipho, utyekele ekupheni ngaphandle kokuthabatha, uthetha ngobuchule, yaye ukhethekile ekusebenziseni amazwi okuncoma nokuncomayo.Unandipha uthando nokwamkelwa.